from ali : grabbing the light

So for all its sense of present longevity, I never can recall a past summer - attempting to fight that this year with some sort of rapid written restraint on the day. Will be recording it elsewhere, but wanted to share the undertaking and a sample here in keeping with the ideal of accountability inherent in the Tortoise.


We are carving out a corner in this forgotten jumble of scrub and cement: brined in sweat and sun, the ant-infested red earth streaking clothes and arms, hands and knees bug-bitten and shovel-blistered. I haul small slabs of asphalt and stone, building a wall at the open mouth of the rocketship pizza kiln to protect the dry thicket beyond, Ryan simultaneously shearing through its most obtrusive bulk by machete. We make it safe, mostly, so steady flames fill the kiln with heat and smoke but only a few slight sparks loop their way beyond its yawn. Ryan disappears in search of food - left alone, I eye night creeping closer on the firelight's failing circle, grabbing the machete to hunt out more kindling, stripping small branches and cracking thick pieces, darting a hand into the fire to stir up its embers and reassemble long logs that halved in the heat like a broken bridge. Proudly observing my handiwork, when he returns with meat, oranges, a jug of water - we squat on our haunches facing the smaller end of the kiln, turning the bratwurst-heavy spokes and watching them fester to final perfection, wiping the after-grease off on pants or just licking fingers clean.

Sated and rested, so over the potholes and out to the dock, a terrified tentative examination of the lurking nighttime lake. The first jump - Ryan - now bobbing in the black water, yelling urgently for me to follow so he's not a lone target, I strip off my boots and make a leap for it, splitting again the shocked calm that's shaking itself awake, now both of us striking out in shoddy speed for the barely discernible center dock. A perspective shift on people when the cluster of high school boys, obnoxious by daylight, show up as gladly welcome company in the night, fellow and further barrier of humanity against the water's stretch. Pale-legged floating beneath the wood through India ink pools and wan moonlit puddles, head craning back at the sky through the dock's gap-toothed grin, stretching my hands upward to grip its slats with my body struggling graceless but stubborn behind.

We part ways with the usual namaste, and me back to my snug little house, the lovely full relaxation of a swim-spent body and wet hair in loose dry clothes, drinking hot tea with milk and honey, carefully consuming Naguib Mahfouz's sparse Egyptian story and nag champa's blanket heavy scent. Some humming barefoot housecleaning alongside the washer's throaty murmur, then a gradual drift to sleep, loving my life & youth.